Coffee Makes Me Feel Less Murdery – Cozy Crewneck Sweatshirt

Gray sweatshirt with yellow text 'Coffee makes me feel less murdery' on a white background
f5f32a13-2f8d-4ed1-9ed9-80beeba153de
4c7534e4-9988-49a5-ba59-3ba4e61de9f3
a29539d6-6ddf-4f8e-85bc-eb732186dd07
d5ce1588-c331-4f80-80b9-d41eeb3cf270
7f08644e-a8b0-4ed4-a205-40a892a61597
417c3dec-9dd4-4bf2-9332-33edb9aa9f6b
ecae9bad-048e-46df-ba91-7468117a1aa9
cc8bbc27-b88d-4b76-9178-f788026212cb

Quality Guarantee

Fast Shipping

Locally Owned

Secure Payments

Coffee Makes Me Feel Less Murdery – Cozy Crewneck Sweatshirt

$45.95

Some moments require patience. Others require coffee immediately. This sweatshirt leans into that truth with dry humor and just enough honesty to make people laugh and maybe give you some space. It’s the perfect balance of funny and self-aware, made for early starts, long days, and anyone who knows caffeine is preventative care.

Comfortable, relatable, and best worn before your first cup.

Fabric and fit

  • 50% cotton / 50% polyester blend

  • Soft fleece interior for warmth and comfort

  • Classic unisex fit designed for easy layering

  • Mid-weight feel that stays cozy without being bulky

  • Ribbed cuffs, collar, and waistband for a clean, structured look

Why you’ll love it

Because coffee doesn’t fix everything, but it does prevent escalation.

Size guide

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
A) Length (inches) 27.2 28 29.1 29.9 31.1 31.9 33 34
B) Width (inches) 40.2 44.1 48 52 55.9 59.8 64 68
B) Half Chest (inches) 20.1 22 24 26 28 29.9 32 34
C) Sleeve Length (inches) 33.5 34.6 35.4 36.6 37.4 38.6 39.5 40.5


Care Instructions

General This sweatshirt is a versatile staple for any wardrobe, combining comfort with casual style.
Wash Machine washable in warm water with like colors.
Dry Tumble dry on medium setting.
Store Store in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight.


All orders ship from our U.S. production partners for fast, dependable delivery.

Estimated delivery:

Standard: 4–7 business days
Express: 2–4 business days

Tracking is included with every order.

Quality Guarantee

Fast Shipping

Locally Owned

Secure Payments

Coffee Makes Me Feel Less Murdery – Cozy Crewneck Sweatshirt

$45.95

Subscribe to our newsletter

Sign up for our Newsletter to receive news, promotions, and announcements!